Parenting a Struggling Teen Is Hard: You're Not Alone

Parenting a teen who is struggling with their mental health is one of the hardest things a family goes through, and it is far more common than it feels from the inside. In the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC) 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 40% of U.S. high school students said they had felt persistently sad or hopeless during the past year, which means that in most classrooms, several families are living some version of what you're living. Many of those parents are also tired, worried, and quietly wondering whether anyone else understands, and most of them haven't said so out loud.

How common are mental health struggles in teens?

Mental health struggles are common enough in adolescence that most parents know other families going through them, even if nobody is talking about it. The CDC's 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey found that 40% of high school students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, down from 42% in 2021, and among female students the figure was 53% (CDC, 2024).

Other national data tell a similar story. The CDC reports that among teens ages 12 to 17 surveyed in 2021–2023, 20% had symptoms of anxiety and 18% had symptoms of depression in the past two weeks, and 20% said they had mental health care needs that went unmet in the past year (CDC, 2026). These are symptom reports rather than diagnoses, but they make it plain that a struggling teen is not a rare case, and that a parent who is worried about one is in very large company.

That doesn't make your situation smaller. Your teen is one person, and their pain is specific, but it may help to know that what's happening in your house is something many families face, and that there are people and programs set up for exactly this.

What does it feel like to parent a struggling teen?

Parenting a struggling teen often feels like living on high alert, with your attention always partly on your teen even when you're at work, at dinner, or trying to sleep. Many parents describe checking their phone constantly, listening for a door at night, rehearsing conversations that might go wrong, and feeling guilty for wanting a single evening off.

Research backs up what parents describe. A 2024 systematic review in BMJ Mental Health pooled 32 studies of parents of children and teens with diagnosed mental health difficulties and found average scores in the clinical range for anxiety, parenting stress, and general stress, along with higher levels of depression than in comparison parents (Martin et al., 2024). The authors noted that seeing a child struggle is itself distressing, that parents describe feelings of guilt, helplessness, and sadness, and that some parents describe hiding their own need for support.

The strain spreads beyond the parent, too. Couples can find themselves arguing about how strict or how gentle to be, siblings can feel invisible while all the attention goes to one child, and friendships can thin out because explaining what's happening feels like too much. Our guide on supporting siblings who feel overlooked covers that piece in more detail.

Why do so many parents feel alone in this?

Parents often feel alone because mental health struggles in adolescence still tend to stay private, even in close communities. A parent can mention a broken arm in the school pickup line without a second thought, but talking about a teen who won't get out of bed, has stopped eating with the family, or is seeing a therapist feels like sharing something that belongs to the teen. That instinct to protect your teen's privacy is a good one, and it can also leave you carrying everything by yourself.

Guilt makes the isolation worse. Many parents quietly believe that if they had done something differently, their teen wouldn't be struggling, and that belief makes them less likely to ask for help. Our article on guilt, blame, and what parents need to hear takes that feeling seriously and explains why mental health conditions rarely trace back to a single cause.

Where can parents find support?

Parents can find support in several places, and many good options are free. The table below compares the main kinds of support so you can pick what fits where you are right now.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) runs NAMI Basics, a free education series for parents and family caregivers of youth, led by instructors who are themselves parents with similar experience, and offered in person, online, or as a self-paced OnDemand course for caregivers of young people ages 22 and younger (NAMI). NAMI also runs NAMI Family Support Group, a free, confidential, peer-led group for adults with a loved one who has experienced mental health symptoms, which meets weekly, every other week, or monthly depending on location, with many groups available virtually (NAMI).

Your teen's pediatrician or school counselor may also know of local parent groups, and it's worth asking. A small, practical step is to tell one person you trust the whole truth about what's going on, since carrying a secret alone is heavier than carrying a hard situation with someone beside you.

How can parents take care of themselves during a hard season?

Parents take care of themselves best with small, steady habits rather than big plans they can't keep up during a crisis. Protecting a basic routine of sleep, meals, and a little movement matters more than it sounds, since a rested parent is calmer and more patient with a struggling teen.

A few things tend to help:

• Set aside one hour a week that belongs to you and has nothing to do with your teen's care.
• Share the load with a partner, relative, or friend, even if it's only driving to appointments.
• Keep short notes on what you're seeing, so you aren't holding every detail in your head.
• Stay connected to at least one part of your life that's going well, like work, a hobby, or a friend.
• Let go of the idea that you have to fix this alone or quickly.

None of this is selfish. Taking care of yourself keeps you steady enough to stay in this for the long haul, and your teen needs a parent who is still standing.

When should parents get help for themselves?

Parents should get help for themselves when the strain stops being a hard week and starts changing how they function. This guide can help you notice what you're carrying, but only a licensed professional can evaluate how you're doing and what kind of support you need.

Soon, within a few weeks: if you're sleeping badly most nights, snapping at your family, drinking more than usual, or can't concentrate at work, talk with your own doctor or a therapist. Our guide on when to get your own therapist walks through how to find one.

Now: if you feel hopeless, can't get through ordinary days, or are having thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988, which is there for parents as well as teens.

For your teen's safety: if you're worried about your teen's safety, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or call 911 if your teen is in immediate danger. Our guide to the ER and crisis options explains what each option involves, our crisis page keeps the numbers in one place, and levels of care explained covers what treatment can look like once things are calmer. The Parents & Families hub gathers everything we've written for you.

This article shares practical guidance for parents and is not medical advice. We're not clinicians or doctors. If your teen is struggling, contact a licensed mental health professional or your teen's doctor, and if you have a serious concern about their safety, call 911 or call or text 988. Editorial standards